Nightmares From my Childhood

It seems irrational now , as an adult ,the things that used to scare me as a kid .Early in my childhood i was terrified of puppets,dolls,and mannequins.I'm sure everyone can agree they have an undeniable creepiness but my fear was based around a particular incident. It was a dark rainy night......

i must have been 7 or 8 years old.My grandma had returned from Mexico on vacation and brought me back a Mariachi marionette puppet like this.



(In my memories the grin was much eviler,wider.The mustache bigger.The eyes blacker)

I had the puppet on my closet door with his face facing away from me.So as the thunder and lightning intensified (remember these memories are those of a 8 year old)it must have shook the ground or something because it made the puppet move.And by move i mean his head spun around and was staring (pun intended) dead at me in bed.I felt a fear that night that was a feeling akin to drowning.Even writing of it now is making me feel buzzed.

And its that foundation that sprouted spires of neurosis.I became fascinated/horrified with artificial human interpretations.Movies like these two from my youth cemented this fear that is still with me today.



Tourist Trap



Magic


Strangely this fear has manifested into a kind of fetishism.I don't know if its my way of overcoming the fear by embracing it or if the fear is the thrill.I have several mannequins in my home, as well as a nice collection of medical anatomy dolls,puppets,and marionettes.My brother gave me this creepy doll from pee-wee's playhouse that my wife Kristina and i used to hide around the house to scare each other.(She won when she positioned the doll to be watching me when i slept one night lol)



(ours is missing its lower jaw so its like even SCARIER than this one!)

This fear/fascination has even crept into my artwork.







So thank you grandma.Your gift taught me fear, but also unlocked in me a power to take that fear and make it mine.I learned to own that fear.Even to use it by embracing it.


Maybe next time i'll explain my fear of lobster,crabs, and shellfish!!ooooooo00000OOOOOOOOOOOO0000000oooooo!!!!!