Monday, January 31, 2011

Random True Stories

This past weekend myself and my wife went to a beautiful wedding at  Starved Rock National park In Illinois. As the drinks flowed and the night grew later my pee to drink ratio was entering the 1:3 area. On one of my trips to the restroom i was washing my hands and primping myself when a giant of a man in a full fur coat, beard, hat shaped like a wolf and rubber bags on his legs came in the bathroom. I froze in front of the mirror like a scared rabbit waiting for the lumberjack sized monster to skin and eat me. He didn't even look my way and made his way to the toilet stalls. opening the doors, peering inside and then moving on the the next stall. I exited post haste. Returned to the wedding reception and remember drunkenly telling someone about the man. (I would have photographed the creature but my cell phone was dead). That was all Friday night.

 Enter Monday morning, I'm at work, Its pretty dead here so I'm reading my usually websites and blogs and as I'm scrolling through the great "People of Walmart" site i SEE THE SAME FUCKING GUY IN THE SAME FUCKING HAT!
It's a small, scary world people.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

On Han Solo, Glitter, Sexy Chewbacca, and Google

As i was stumbling through the outer rim of the Internet Universe i came upon this Han Solo piece of Glitter art.
This picture fills me with a glee that the franchise sadly hasn't in a long time. But i wondered "where's the Chewbacca glitter art companion piece?" Surely the artist who made this immortalized Han's life partner in glitter as well!?! I was able to track down the artist and as i scanned all his pages i was horrified to find no Chewie! See For Yourself HERE

I have a solution which i will share with you in a second, but first.

To find the above picture i of course Googled "Glitter Chewbacca". These are some of the awesome Chewie Images Google gave me.
Look at these awesome shoes from Adidas!! I don't wear gym shoes much. My day to days tend to be steel toe boots but these would go really good with my "Bandoleer" Chewie shirt. (Yep)

 This painting fits the "glitter Chewbacca" criteria i gave Google but its to....bright or something. It's like "New Age" Chewbacca! The more i stare at it the more i hate it. And i think it hates me too.

 Now this painting is awesome. But one still has to wonder WHY? What the fuck compelled someone to paint Chewbacca in Leather Daddy Sadomasochistic Leather? And its a good painting. Look at the back ground sun hues and the light reflections on the leather. This was painted with love. A sick, sick Love.

 Now this tattoo is neither great nor horrible but i suspect that when this hairy bastards leg/arm hair grows back this tattoo will become Epic.

Apparently this Chewbacca head butt a dude on Holly wood blvd. Wouldn't it be cool to see all the photos of people being arrested in costumes? I'm sure there's a website that already has this somewhere.

 I found this sexy Chewbacca costume that, while pretty hot, is utterly confusing to me. Why are nerds having things sexed up?!? Ive seen photos of women stripping dressed like Stormtroopers and C3-P0(!)and God help me even Jabba the Hutt!! The only male Star Wars character i wanna Fuck is Jar Jar Binks for being partly responsible for destroying my beloved childhood franchise. Well maybe i'd Fuck Fett as well...

 This is a bad Chewbacca shirt. I would still wear it b.t.w.
 This is an awesome Chewbacca shirt that no way in Hell would i wear.
 Gotta love independent artists takes on classic Star Wars Characters.

And even though i found all this awesome stuff (and saw even more WTF stuff) there was no Glitter Chewbacca companion for Han.This will be rectified. At 5:00 P.M. E.S.T. i will be leaving work and driving west 2.5 miles where i will enter Hobby Lobby arts and crafts store and after stopping in aisle 4 for approximately  24 2'x3' black gloss sheets of paper i will head to aisle 16 grabbing various brown and yellow hues of glitter and in that aisle, on this day, i will make a Glitter Chewbacca companion for Han.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Someone, Somewhere Loves Danzig

Just found this on the internet and i gotta tell ya, seeing this picture makes everything alright. Racial strife, ongoing wars, the recession, my missing Bagels. All of it doesn't matter because this picture exists. Someone put this picture in that frame and took its picture. Voila.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy News Year - Ramblings of a Random Nature

I hope you all are doing well. I'm cool. I haven't checked in lately, so i apologize. I guess i just haven't had much to say lately. Last night as i lay going to sleep i remember having the best idea for a post and of course i wake up this morning and i can't remember what it was. I heard of this memory trick (God knows where) where you think about where you were when you had the thought, thing, idea, etc. and write down the first five words that pop in your head. This is what i wrote down - Thor, plastic, bread, van, Ghostbusters. Not only did none of those words jar my memory but upon looking at these words i again realize just what a damn weird nerd i am.

Happy New Year.