Showing posts with label george lucas sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label george lucas sucks. Show all posts

Thursday, January 21, 2010

101 Reasons Star Wars is No Longer Relevant To Me (cont.)

75. "Star Wars in 3D could become a reality as George Lucas has stated that he was impressed with the technology used in Avatar and its subsequent success at the box office." A.P.


74. "Was that new Jabba sequence really necessary? It was a badly written scene to begin with. The dialogue echoes the previous discussion Han had with Greedo, almost verbatim. Too many complications are involved with the Jabba sequence, also. Why has Jabba lost about half his mass, and is three feet shorter than Han? Because the eyelines had to be consistent--Harrison Ford's eyeline was ruled out being altered, and the actor portraying Jabba in the original footage was a short, fat man. The new Jabba is NOT the same Jabba we see in RETURN OF THE JEDI. In addition, the Jabba in JEDI had extremely limited mouth movements--essentially, his mouth simply opened and closed. The new computer generated Jabba is waaay to expressive, almost more expressive than Harrison Ford in the scene. Why? Because accurate computer generated lip-synch and facial expressions are a reality at ILM these days. But just because it CAN be done, doesn't mean it SHOULD be done. He betrays the Jabba we've all grown up with."
Who Needs It? by Todd Vaziri
I like when this idiot has to re-cut his re-cuts because they look so shitty he tries to make them less shitty.


73. "Oh, this is such a drag..." ―C-3PO, when being dragged by R2-D2. George wrote that line. Five minutes later...3PO says "I feel quite beside myself." after his head is dragged beside his body by R2-D2

72.


71. Why did old Georgie change Han Solo's line in R.O.T.J. from "It's all right, trust me" ,which is a great line fitting with his bravado and sly humor, to "I can see a lot better"? Seriously why?


70. Speaking of this scene, Notice the way George put ropes in one of his many re-cuts to make it look more plausible for Solo to dangle by his toes from the Sail barge? Notice the way it looks even sillier now?


69. Lucas has also removed the "flash" from people getting hit with blaster fire in Star Wars. He edited these frames out of the newer editions. To violent? Had to make more room for new "Rasta" aliens in the cantina scene? We'll never know.


68. "Roger, Roger"-Battle Droid

67.




66. “I know. Somehow, I’ve always known!” – Princess Leia, ROTJ

65.


64. After Luke Skywalker leaves Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back, Obi-Wan Kenobi comments that Luke is "their last hope" and Yoda corrects him, stating there is another. Obi-Wan should have known that there is another Skywalker, as he was present when both Luke and his twin sister Leia Organa were born in Revenge of the Sith.

63. Throughout Episodes IV-VI, the Jedi are referred to as a source of legend and myth; the fallen Order is considered by many to be a "hokey religion", yet only twenty years have passed since the Jedi Order was destroyed.

62.


61. Hey Lucas,The parsec is a unit of distance, not time. Maybe you can fix that in re-cut number 32?

60. Lucas let Marc Ecko make Star Wars clothes, because hip hop culture and Star Wars fit together like Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Monday, December 21, 2009

101 Reasons Star Wars is No Longer Relevant To Me (cont.)

I just spotted these wonderful reviews by Milwaukee-based videographer/editor/critic Mike Stoklasa  on Toplessrobot.com and i had to share.I won't count these as part of my 101 reasons but i will be spotlighting all 70 minutes (!) of these epic dissertations. Grab a soda, take a 10 minute break, and enjoy.

Monday, November 23, 2009

101 Reasons Star Wars is No Longer Relevant To Me (cont.)

87. This is a stereotypical diner cook.

This is a stereotypical diner cook in a galaxy far, far away.


86.In E.S.B. after R2 is spit out by the Dagobah swamp monster, Lukes dialogue has been changed. From "your lucky you don't taste good" to "you were lucky to get out of there".

Why?

85.


84.Every time Asoka calls R2-D2 Artoo-ee i die inside.

83.And since when did R2 become a damn Swiss army droid? A lot of his weaponry could have came in useful in the original trilogy.


82.


81.George wrote Anakin saying Yippee! in Phantom Menace. TWICE!

80.In E.S.B. Vader knows the rebellion is on Hoth and names Luke as well.That's all well and good until Lucas re shot the exchange between Vader and the Emperor. Now it looks like Vader is an idiot who couldn't put two and two together. HMMM my name used to be Skywalker and this kid just blew up my space station with the same last name.(Which i knew in the beginning of this film but now i seem baffled by thanks to an idiotic re-write)

79.

Wow George, this was really needed. Maybe your next re edit/cut you can have him wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. Or maybe his mask can be off so you can cut and paste more Temuera Morrison heads on everything.

78.When the game The Force Unleashed was being worked on George had a bright idea.He wrote the story so at the end of the game you kill Vader and essentially don his armor, thus becoming Vader for A.N.H. thru R.O.T.J.

The game designers had to explain to this idiot how bad that would be. How horribly he would alienate the fans. The fact this had to be explained to him is infuriating.

77.This muppets last name is Yowza.

Monday, November 9, 2009

101 Reasons Star Wars is No Longer Relevant To Me (cont.)

94


93 "The entire reason Anakin switched to the dark side becomes unraveled when he tries to kill Padme, who was the reason he switched to the dark side to begin with. Oops! Of course, Star Wars apologists will try to point out that Anakin was already under the influence of the "dark side" at this point. So that's why the first thing he asks as Darth Vader is whether Padme is safe."-maddox

92 ELAN SLEAZEBAGGANO: "You wanna buy some death-sticks?"I literally laughed out loud at this horrendous scene.When i found out the characters name was Sleazebaggano it just mad me sad.


91 (On Luke not listening to Obi Wan and Yoda in Empire when he goes to rescue the gang.)David Johnson said:

I agree with most of this, but number 4 - "Refusing to Listen to the Only Living Jedi in the Galaxy" - is actually probably one of the few intelligent thinks he ever did.

I mean, we're talking about a supposed "Master of the Force" who managed to totally miss a Dark Lord of the Sith working for twenty years in the office next door! Missed it so badly that he managed to get almost every single Jedi in the galaxy killed and the galaxy he was "protecting" itself under the boot heel of that same Sith for another twenty years until it was proved you could destroy him with nothing more dangerous than a mildly dim farm boy with father issues.

No offense, but ignoring his advice seems pretty darn smart to me..

(This was taken from an article 'The 5 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is a Complete Idiot'
from the wonderful website toplessrobot

90

89 " Lucas is a bad director and an even worse screenwriter. The Empire Strikes Back is arguably the best Star Wars movie, yet it was directed by Irvin Kershner; Lucas did not write the screenplay either. Also, many people feel that the more involved Lucas becomes with a Star Wars movie, the worse it becomes. He received nominations for Worst Director and Worst Screenplay at the Razzie Awards.

Additionally, while directing the original Star Wars, his only directions were “faster” or “more intense”. At one point, when he temporarily lost his voice, the crew provided him with a board with just those three words written on it"
From whosucks

88

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

101 Reasons Star Wars is No Longer Relevant To Me

The other night a commercial came on for the clone wars upcoming episode on cartoon network.My wife asked me if i had been watching the new season and i said i hadn't.Whats the point?Watch Anakin defy Obi Wans orders and then watch lots of robots die while General Grieveous retreats.Wash-Rinse-Repeat.I don't love Star Wars the way i used to.

For those who don't know me i used to BLEED Star Wars.Being an 8 year old in 1977 and seeing that film blew me away.Before Star Wars the best science fiction i had been exposed to may have been Space 1999.Star Wars took science fiction to the next level.Then proceded to blast the shit out of it with lasers while Wookies tore its arms off.Then Star Wars took it to a seedy Mos Eisly bar and bought it a drink because it owned it.I have 2 large Star Wars tattoos.I can recite the entire first film,line for line.I know i've seen the origonals well over 100 times each.I have read a lot of the expaned universe stuff.I used to collect the toys quite extensively.I have several Star Wars actors autographs.If i had my way my sons first name would be Darth.What i'm trying to say is i have had a love affair with Star Wars for over 30 years.But the affair is over.I left Star Wars.

I can't take the continued raping and re-cutting of the original films.

I am tired of defending a man who couldn't write a commercial.

I can't watch a thing that was special to me become a product.

With this and upcoming posts(101 in all) i am going to attempt ,for myself,as well as others to figure out just what has destroyed this relationship.I will reflect on this more than any past relationship in my life.Its that important.I will use other sites,blogs,and web pages to help me and will site references if and when i can.So here we go...


101 JAR JAR Binks

Lets just get this catastrophe out of the way now.George Lucas was so hell bent on being the first director to have an entire actor be CGI that he created this monster.Everything about this character is horrible.The design,the speech impediment,the walk.And the CGI isn't even that good.Someone once put whats so fucked about Jar Jar like this(I am so sorry i don't remember where i read this).So in Phantom Menace Jar Jar is taking Obi Wan and Quigon to his under water home.When he gets to the edge of the lake does he walk in the water?Creep like an alligator?Nope ,he jumps in the air, defies gravity, and does 3 flips before doing a perfect dive into the water.Horrible,horrible writing.A few years later Lord Of The Rings director Peter Jackson created a CGI character so well done there was talk of an academy award for a CGI character.

100


99 "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything's soft... and smooth..." (He touches her arm.)

98

I know some people try to justify this by saying"that's what Anakin looked like before he turned".Well i agree but how WOULD LUKE KNOW!?!?!

97 Remember in Empire Strikes Back and Han flys into the asteroid field chased by Imperials and 3po says "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1." To which Solo responds: "Never tell me the odds." Great scene.In the prequels and in clone wars they do it on a regular basis and no one bats an eye.There is no danger and hence, no emotion.

96 Vader built C3-PO.

95 Han Shot First!


What makes this recut Lucas did even more infuriating is on the set of the last Indiana Jones film pictures were taken of George Lucas WEARING A HAN SHOT FIRST SHIRT!!


To Be Continued...